SH*T YOU NEED TO DO NOW (for yourself)
GET YOUR SH*T TOGETHER
cnbc: got a will? here are 11 more end-of-life-documents you might need (article)
“A 2014 American Journal of Preventive Medicine study found that 74 percent of adults have no healthcare proxy, living will or advance directives; only 42 percent have a will, according to a survey earlier this year from Caring.com. ‘Anyone remember the death rate in the United States?’ Florian asked. “It’s like one per person. Nobody is getting out of here alive. We never know when death will happen, just that it will.’”
I found it hilarious that the next two books were tucked amid the tchotchke of a Christmas catalog I received, along with the “jewelry urn” I got for my Uncle’s widow. Do I have death-dar or are you all spotting this sh*t too …?!
Yours truly, Irreverent Rachel
i’m dead, now what? (planner)
“Yes, it has a quirky cover design that will appeal to certain sensibilities, but the contents of this peace-of-mind planner are no-nonsense. Use it to gather those vital details about your contacts, legal matters, health, financial affairs, instructions, and more. Enter the information in this guided planner, and keep it in a secure location. Valuable and practical, it is a tremendous gift for your family and personal representatives.”
in case you get hit by a bus (book)
“Okay, no one plans on getting hit by a bus, and the chances of it actually happening are pretty slim, but that's the point of this handy book: to plan for the unexpected. Sudden illness, injury, or even death leaves a lot of work in the hands of loved ones, but you can make it easier for them by organizing the essentials now.”
Ok, between the Marie Kondo “spark joy” movement and the omnipresent hygge craze that has made all things Nordic super hip these days, this book is having its moment in the sun for its starkly stated practicality, and simple Swedish cover art. (Having married into a VERY proud Swedish family, I have an affinity for both.) I can already tell one of my favorite Irreverent Insights will be about the types of things the author highly recommends you purge before you kick it.
Yours truly, Irreverent Rachel
the gentle art of swedish death cleaning (book)
“A charming, practical, and unsentimental approach to putting a home in order while reflecting on the tiny joys that make up a long life. In Sweden, there is a kind of decluttering called döstädning, dö meaning ‘death’ and städning meaning ‘cleaning.’ This surprising and invigorating process of clearing out unnecessary belongings can be undertaken at any age or life stage but should be done sooner than later, before others have to do it for you.”
I have been death cleaning for about five years. Yes, it can take that long. I now have three boxes of memorabilia and two boxes of paperwork. I will leave those for another year and then have another go. During this process I discovered a lot about myself — primarily who and what is important to me. One other side effect includes nothing in the basement, three completely empty closets with NO desire to fill them AND nothing stored under the beds. Of the closets that have sh*t in them, it is now much easier to find stuff you do need! However, let's not forget to do the things you can do now to facilitate estate closure for your Executor — all the legal documents that allow your Executor to become you!
— Sh*t S*bling review by Stephanie R.
“‘I had four colanders. Cabinet by cabinet, I pulled out the contents, assessed, divided, wiped down, replaced.’ Ann Patchett writes an essay about wanting to edit her possessions after her friend’s father died and left a house full of stuff.”
new york times: how to age gracefully (article)
“The day after my 80th birthday, which overflowed with good wishes, surprises and Covid-safe celebrations, I awoke feeling fulfilled and thinking that whatever happens going forward, I’m OK with it. My life has been rewarding, my bucket list is empty, my family is thriving, and if everything ends tomorrow, so be it.”
FACE THE EXISTENTIAL SH*T
death cafe (site)
“A Death Cafe is a group directed discussion of death with no agenda, objectives or themes. It is a discussion group rather than a grief support or counselling session. Our objective is 'to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives.’”
the order of the good death and the death positive movement (site)
“The Order is about making death a part of your life. Staring down your death fears—whether it be your own death, the death of those you love, the pain of dying, the afterlife (or lack thereof), grief, corpses, bodily decomposition, or all of the above. Accepting that death itself is natural, but the death anxiety of modern culture is not.”
lion’s roar: the five remembrances (article)
“I first encountered the five remembrances when I was a chaplaincy student at the Sati Center for Buddhist Studies. Diana Lion, one of the teachers, handed us an altar card with five statements from the Upajjhatthana Sutta. Here they are in their blunt simplicity and undeniability: I am of the nature to age. I am of the nature to become ill. I am of the nature to die. I will be separated and parted from all that is dear to me. I am the heir to my actions.”
lion’s roar: everything dies (article)
“It’s the Buddha’s basic teaching. It’s life’s universal truth. It’s what we most want to deny. Sallie Jiko Tisdale on how this hard but liberating truth can transform your life.”
the new yorker: what is it like to be dying? (article)
“In ‘Documenting Death’ a couple who work in palliative care take to social media to share their experiences after one of them receives a terminal diagnosis.”
death (TED talks)
“A collection of TED Talks (and more) on the topic of Death.”
upaya: being in life, death, grief and love (program)
An invisible virus has changed our world and our lives, as most of us find ourselves in the process of meeting a pervasive sense of loss, a reshaping of the experience of death, and what it means to care and to love. The practice of turning toward our losses and meeting our suffering with kindness and awareness can support us in letting go of our well-constructed defenses and open to greater love. Frank and Roshi will introduce ways to invite the pain into our heart where it can finally be held in loving awareness and integrated into our life as a source of wisdom and a well of great compassion.
my life story - so far (journal)
“Beginning with ‘The Early Years,’ this uniquely designed journal is organized in nine sections, each containing thought-provoking prompts to spark a colorful personal memoir that captures the memories of first dates, lifelong friendships, meaningful stories, and pearls of wisdom gathered along the way. There's even a section dedicated to list the things you hope to accomplish next!”
the new yorker: the photographer who set out to watch herself age (article)
“Over nearly four decades, beginning in the early eighties, the photographer Nancy Floyd executed an epic project of self-documentation, the results of which are collected in her new volume, ‘Weathering Time.’ But it is not Floyd’s strict adherence to a plan that makes her project so compelling. It’s that she completed it with a laid-back kind of tenacity—an anti-perfectionistic, unfixed attitude, which lends her book, a curiously organized archive of some twelve hundred black-and-white images, a meandering charm.”
Shout out to my website designer Elizabeth for this find!
Yours truly, Irreverent Rachel
the new yorker: why we can’t tell the truth about aging (article)
“At the moment, we seem to be compensating for past transgressions: far from devaluing old age, we assign it value it may not possess. Yes, we should live as long as possible, barring illness and infirmity, but, when it comes to the depredations of age, let’s not lose candor along with muscle tone. The goal, you could say, is to live long enough to think: I’ve lived long enough.”
cake: what does becoming ‘death positive’ mean? (site)
“Embracing the notion of death and planning ahead for it encapsulates the notion of what it means to be ‘death positive.’”
vox: why millenials are the “death positive” generation (article)
“Unlike boomers, young people are embracing planning their own funerals. It’s fueling changes in the death industry.”
new york times: the death positive movement comes to life (article)
“Death cafes, death doulas, ‘Ask a Mortician,’ DeathLab — once the province of goth subculture, death is having a moment in the sun.”
death cafe (site)
“At a Death Cafe people, often strangers, gather to eat cake, drink tea and discuss death. Our objective is 'to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives'. A Death Cafe is a group directed discussion of death with no agenda, objectives or themes. It is a discussion group rather than a grief support or counselling session.”