You’re here because you need to have a laugh.
Your usual go-to sources of mirth — TikTok animal antics, YouTube videos of Boxer dogs talking, and the latest internet meme of Bernie Sanders’ mittens in your high school crowd’s very active text thread — just aren’t cutting through the mental chaos with endorphin-releasing relief.
MY FAVORITES
While Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half is not about elders or death, there is something so cathartic about reading stories of another’s chaos when you’re going through your own. Even without the text, as avid fans and related tchotchke will attest, her drawings are iconic. My son pored over this book so much since the age of five the pages are falling out, making me deeply appreciative of the book designer’s decision to color-code the sections so I know what goes together. A special shout-out to The Open Door bookstore, and the sweet and knowledgeable young staff member working the floor circa 2015 when bleary-eyed me walked in and said, “Give me something that will make me laugh.”
Yours truly, Irreverent Rachel
hyperbole and a half (book)
“‘Funny and smart as hell’ (Bill Gates), Allie Brosh's Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations. Brosh's debut marks the launch of a major new American humorist who will surely make even the biggest scrooge or snob laugh. We dare you not to.”
By comparison, the cover of my next favorite irreverent read leaves absolutely no room for doubt that it is about death. Mary Roach’s Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers proved a soothing (em)balm for understanding what was happening to Dad after, per his long-desired wish, his body was donated to a local medical college via their Anatomical Gift Program. From the very first sentence Mary Roach exhibits her talent for taking a tough subject and making it both accessible and entertaining: “The human head is of the same approximate size and weight as a roaster chicken.” I’ll admit I stopped reading when, halfway through, she describes the use of cadavers to assess the wreckage of human tragedy (think airplanes falling from the sky). But when I picked it back up recently to test my affinity, I practically dog-eared every page in the first three chapters (“A Head is a Terrible Thing to Waste,” “Crimes of Anatomy,” and “Life After Death”). Leave it on your coffee table if you want to spur some discussion!
Yours truly, Irreverent Rachel
stiff: the curious lives of human cadavers (book)
“Stiff is an oddly compelling, often hilarious exploration of the strange lives of our bodies postmortem. For two thousand years, cadavers—some willingly, some unwittingly—have been involved in science's boldest strides and weirdest undertakings. In this fascinating account, Mary Roach visits the good deeds of cadavers over the centuries and tells the engrossing story of our bodies when we are no longer with them.”
I can’t help but write about all the books I have been carrying around in my bag-of-death for the past year, both for reference and recommendation to others. All New Yorker readers will be familiar with Roz Chast’s artistry, which she creatively applies in memoir form to tell the experience of being an only child managing the end-of-life issues of two aging parents. While the title and form are funny, the content is an intimate and eye-opening preview of what many of you may go through.
Yours truly, Irreverent Rachel
can’t we talk about something more pleasant? (book)
“In her first memoir, New Yorker cartoonist Roz Chast brings her signature wit to the topic of aging parents. Spanning the last several years of their lives and told through four-color cartoons, family photos, and documents, and a narrative as rife with laughs as it is with tears, Chast's memoir is both comfort and comic relief for anyone experiencing the life-altering loss of elderly parents. While the particulars are Chast-ian in their idiosyncrasies … the themes are universal: adult children accepting a parental role; aging and unstable parents leaving a family home for an institution; dealing with uncomfortable physical intimacies; and hiring strangers to provide the most personal care.”
These next offerings are also off-topic, but like Allie Brosh’s gem earn a place on this page for both image and word mirth. I can’t remember when I first came across Amber Dusick’s (original) Parenting with Crappy Pictures blog, though I can safely assume it was during my son’s first five years based on how much I LOL’d in recognition of her daily family experiences. Dusick’s “surprise” success led to the books below, and a rebranding of the site, which I returned to for inspiration when making my own unskillful images. I appreciate that she is constantly re-inventing and re-inspiring herself, which I find myself having to do a lot in life, and especially during the eldercare years.
Yours truly, Irreverent Rachel
“Thanks to the surprising popularity of this blog (thank you!) I published BOOKS!!”
parenting: illustrated with crappy pictures (book)
“Of course you love being a parent. But sometimes, it just sucks. I know. I'm Amber Dusick and I started my blog Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures because I needed a place to vent about the funny (and frustrating) day-to-day things that happened to me as a parent. Turns out, poop is hilarious! At least when you're not the one wiping it up. This book won't make your frustrating moments any less crappy. But these stories about my Crappy Baby, Crappy Boy and my husband, Crappy Papa, will hopefully make you laugh. Because you're not alone. And sometimes the crappiest moments make the best memories. Parenting is wonderful! And also, well, you know.”
marriage illustrated with crappy pictures - original (book)
“Amber Dusick was a sleep-deprived mother of two when she sat down to write her first blog post at CrappyPictures.com. Her pictures were admittedly crappy, but her hilarious take on parenting made the site an overnight success. She lives in Wisconsin with her not-at-all-crappy husband, two sons and two black cats. She also has a fish but usually leaves him out of bios.”
While I admit to not yet reading this book, it is a no-brainer to put anything by Bill Bryson in my “favorites” section. This guy could write about dirt and I would find it humorous and engaging. And as to this particular topic: I figured what better way to honor the end-of-life process than by taking a pause and appreciating the shell we will all shed someday.
Yours truly, Irreverent Rachel
the body: a guide for occupants (book)
“Bill Bryson takes us on a head-to-toe tour of the marvel that is the human body. As addictive as it is comprehensive, this is Bryson at his very best, a must-read owner's manual for everybody.”
THE GREAT CAITLIN
Ok, full disclosure, I think I have a crush on Caitlin Doughty, but not the romantical kind. The kind that occurs when you’re at your most vulnerable (adolescence) and some girl passes you in the hall and you suddenly realize she has already learned things you have never heard of. Like self-assurance. And style. And hair products. And makeup. And where to buy all-black clothes. When I first came upon Doughty’s The Order of the Good Death site (see in the Start-of-Sh*t section) I kept looking away and closing it, as if I’d stumbled on a link that had somehow blown through my parents’ internet-restrictions setting. Like it was a hoax, or a cult, or a scam. But the more I dug in the more I recognized that familiar feeling, affirmed by my inner voice: “She’s too COOL for you.” And while I still think that’s true, it doesn’t mean we can’t admire her from afar, like an anguished 80s Rom-Com heroine.
Yours truly, Irreverent Rachel
will the cat eat my eyeballs?: big questions from tiny mortals about death (book)
“Every day, funeral director Caitlin Doughty receives dozens of questions about death. The best questions come from kids. What would happen to an astronaut's body if it were pushed out of a space shuttle? Do people poop when they die? Can Grandma have a Viking funeral? In Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs? Doughty blends her mortician's knowledge of the body and the intriguing history behind common misconceptions about corpses to offer factual, hilarious, and candid answers to thirty-five distinctive questions posed by her youngest fans.”
smoke gets in your eyes: & other lessons from the crematory (book)
“Armed with a degree in medieval history and a flair for the macabre, Caitlin Doughty took a job at a crematory and turned morbid curiosity into her life's work. She cared for bodies of every color, shape, and affliction, and became an intrepid explorer in the world of the dead. In this best-selling memoir, brimming with gallows humor and vivid characters, she marvels at the gruesome history of undertaking and relates her unique coming-of-age story with bold curiosity and mordant wit. By turns hilarious, dark, and uplifting, Smoke Gets in Your Eyes reveals how the fear of dying warps our society and "will make you reconsider how our culture treats the dead" (San Francisco Chronicle).”
ask a mortician (videos)
“You got death questions, we got death answers.”
death in the afternoon (podcast)
“A podcast about all things mortal, from The Order of the Good Death. Our mission is to educate our audience about death in a unique, relatable, and entertaining way; to further open up conversations about death in a death phobic culture. And sometimes (ok, all the time) let things get delightfully bizarre.”
KINDRED SPIRITS
You know how when you have had a certain life experience — or are going through one — all of a sudden the universe is raining with kismet-related things? I can’t recall how I came across this podcast, but it was immediately apparent it would fit in this section. I haven’t even listened to it yet, and only read the NPR article when writing up this description, but it was like looking in the mirror (especially the part about the box of white wine). Let me know what you think!
Yours truly, Irreverent Rachel
how are you? on this podcast the answer is: ‘terrible, thanks for asking’ (NPR)
“Nora McInerny is tired of small talk. ‘I don't want small talk …’ she says on her podcast. ‘I want the big talk.’ McInerny's show is called Terrible, Thanks for Asking, and she begins each interview with the same question: How are you? The responses she gets go way beyond the typical ‘I'm fine.’ McInerny deals with death, loss and coming through trauma. But her approach to these tough subjects is saturated with love and humor.”
terrible, thanks for asking (podcast)
“You know how when someone asks ‘How are you?" you just say ‘Fine,’ even if you’re totally dying inside, so everyone can go about their day? ‘Terrible, Thanks For Asking’ is the opposite of that. Nora McInerny asks real people to share their complicated and honest feelings about how they really are. It’s sometimes sad, sometimes funny, and often both.”
“Soon after his 50th birthday, Petrow began assembling a list of ‘things I won't do when I get old’--mostly a catalog of all the things he thought his then 70-something year old parents were doing wrong. That list, which included ‘You won't have to shout at me that I'm deaf,’ and ‘I won't blame the family dog for my incontinence,’ became the basis of this rousing collection of do's and don'ts, wills and won'ts that is equal parts hilarious, honest, and practical.”
MEDITATIVE MIRTH
aromatherapy body patches (gift)
"Using these essential-oil-blend aromatherapy patches is as simple as: Press one on your skin; breathe in; feel good for up to eight hours. That's it. They don't leak, get greasy, or leave sticky stuff on you skin or your clothing. Since the essential oils never touch your body, they don't cause allergic reactions; all they do is boost your mood. We recommend taking them everywhere. Eight tabs per kit. Made in Minnesota."
meditation shower steamers (gift)
"Each one features a soothing blend of essential oils sparked with a touch of lemon zest. Your rejuvenation begins the moment it’s placed under warm water. Close your eyes, take a breath, and let its fragrance envelop you like a calming mist. Who knows? Gazing at its image of a yogi meditating above lotus petals might help you find the inner peace you're looking for. Handmade in Maryland."
calming shower steamers (gift set)
"These cubes fill your shower with soothing essential oil scents like lemongrass and lavender. Boxed like a selection of sweets, the shower steamers gift set turns bath time into a deliciously pampering ritual. Handmade in California."
serene home (spa gift set)
"Some gifts let you know they’re special as soon as they arrive, like Lizzy Siman-Tov’s aromatherapeutic spa set. Before you even open the box, you’ll be refreshed by the clean, soothing scent of eucalyptus. Inside, you’ll find Lizzy’s handcrafted eucalyptus soap, which is rich in shea butter and olive oil to leave skin soft and moisturized, especially when used with the natural fiber exfoliating pouch. The eucalyptus spray mist goes anywhere—on bedding, in the shower, or in the air—to relieve stress with its tingling fragrance. And the unscented lip balm comforts lips with a custom recipe of sweet almond, coconut, and avocado oils. Handsomely packaged with a plushy cotton towel, this collection is ready to gift to yourself or anyone who deserves a touch of at-home spa serenity. Handmade in California."
vintage stickers (book set)
"These colorful vintage stickers are perfect for scrapbooking, journaling, paper crafts, and for personalizing gifts—or anything that needs an artistic flourish. Set includes two complete volumes: Loads of Ephemera, featuring a fantastic assortment of antique art, and Bunches of Botanicals, filled with beautiful floral and garden images. Over 1000 Stickers!"
michelle marin (artist)
“My artistic inspiration is primarily drawn from the observations I have made as a healthcare worker in the long-term care home sector. The blossoming and decaying floral bouquets in my still-life compositions speak to the fragility of life, so evident in palliative and end of life care.“
noah bells collection (gift)
"Handmade in India following ancient traditions and practices, these little iron bells have many uses. Hang them in bunches from doors, or use them as musical gift toppers. Create your own wind chimes. String several bells together and drape them from a mantel. Believed to ward off evil spirits, they're wonderful housewarming gifts. Collection of 20 includes 5 each of 4 different shapes, all about 1½", in a drawstring burlap bag."
zen stacking stones (gift)
“Bring balance to the world and find your inner peace. Test your concentration as you work your way up the levels of difficulty, using stones of varying shapes and sizes in calming colors.”(game)
shashibo art cube (gift)
"Much more than just a colorful cube, Shashibo is a puzzle, a shape-shifter, a fidget toy, and a stress reliever. Invented by Andreas Hoenigschmid, made with 36 rare earth magnets, a single cube transforms into more than 70 shapes. Combine 2 or more Shashibos to build larger shapes and more complex geometric forms. Designed by American artist Laurence Gartel, the Father of Digital Art."
lion’s roar: how to drink a mindful cup of tea (article)
“A cup of tea or coffee is a nice break. Drinking it mindfully is a real break. Joseph Emet teaches us this five-step practice.”
tea leaf reading set (gift)
“'Many curious things I see when telling fortunes in my tea.' So reads the saucer in Molly Hatch’s charming tea set. Brew loose-leaf tea in her beautifully illustrated cup, drink at your leisure, then follow the direction cards for her take on tasseography—the ancient practice of telling the future from the wet leaves left behind. Molly's set includes one cup, one saucer, and a deck of 10 cards. Here's to your future. Made in Japan."
lion’s roar: discover the joy of doing nothing (article)
“Zen teacher Pat Enkyo O’Hara teaches us the practice of Shikantaza. Doing nothing but sitting and breathing, we rest in flowing awareness beyond the ups and downs of life.”
nothing much happens (book)
“Based on the popular podcast, these soothing stories explore sweet moments of joy and relaxation: Sneaking lilacs from an abandoned farm in the spring. Watching fireflies from the deck in the summer. Visiting the local cider mill in the autumn, and more.”
mindful breathing (necklace)
“Inspired by a conversation with a flute-maker who taught them about ancient Japanese monks and their breathing techniques, Todd and Vanessa Steinberg created a pendant that encourages slow, conscious breathing.”
worry stone (necklace)
“Maker Leesa Storfer found inspiration in the classic worry stone, a small token to hold between your finger and thumb that dates back to many Native American tribes as well as ancient Greece, Tibet, and Ireland.”
chiming heart (necklace)
"The gleaming heart is accented with a small angel wing charm, a reminder that our guardian angel is always near. Give it a gentle shake to hear a calming, comforting, sweet-sounding chime."
cherry pit therapeutic heat pillow (gift)
"Heat these handmade pillows in the microwave or chill them in the fridge to relieve tension and soothe aches and pains the natural way. Their secret ingredient? Cherry pits from Michigan orchards–naturally dried and sterilized to make organic insulation you can warm or cool over and over. A traditional Swiss remedy, cherry pit-filled pillows excel in providing moist heat without offensive chemicals or artificial ingredients. Maker Claudia Phillips, a former massage therapist, found that they gave her clients extra relief from muscle pain and stiffness in their lower back, neck, and shoulders, and for arthritis, muscle cramps, and sore joints. Handmade in Maryland."
calming lavender heat pillow (muscle relaxer)
“What if that soothing pillow at the end of the day could do more than just rest your head? Instead of cotton stuffing, this luxurious pillow has locally sourced barley and lavender filling its 100% cotton exterior. Pop it into the microwave for one to two minutes and the barley puts out a long-lasting, muscle-relaxing warmth, while the lavender greets your senses with a calming scent.”
orbits eye stones (gift)
"Made from Finnish bedrock that is more than two billion years old, these stone disks bring tired peepers relief from long hours at the computer, puffiness after a long night, or itchiness due to seasonal allergies. Chill them in the refrigerator and apply on or under your eyes for a rock-solid spa treatment at home. Made in Finland."
how to be a wildflower (card deck)
“Awaken your sense of wonder with this deck from beloved illustrator Katie Daisy, author of the New York Times bestselling book How To Be a Wildflower. Each of the 78 cards has a symbol on one side and an inspirational phrase on the other. Much like an oracle deck, these cards foster self-reflection and encourage moments of mindful contemplation.”
crochet the golden girls (crafts)
“Grab a crochet hook and head out to the lanai because it's time to stitch up your favorite sassy senior ladies! 64-page instruction book, plus six colors of yarn, crochet hook, embroidery floss, embroidery needle, and more.”
antiquarian stickers (hardcover book)
“A treasure trove of ornate stickers based on authentic prints from the Victorian era to the early 20th century. Over 1,000 exquisite stickers in a deluxe-bound book, ready to peel and stick on stationery, wrapping, or any craft you might fancy. Hardcover, 300 pages, full color throughout.”
cross stitch the golden girls (crafts)
“Book and kit includes 12 hilarious patterns, plus everything needed to make two projects: 64-page instruction book, bamboo embroidery hoop, embroidery needle, 6 skeins of embroidery floss, 2 pieces of cross stitch fabric, and color illustrations of the finished projects.”
CELEBRATING ELDERS
it's weird being the same age as old people (shirt)
"One day you're young, and the next...wait, what just happened? A gift for a milestone birthday, or any birthday past a certain age.”
grandpa magic (book)
"From a professional magician and New York Times bestselling author, here are 112 easy tricks, stunts, and brainteasers that will engage the grandchildren and provide giggles, amazement, and wonderful memories. Includes illustrated step-by-step instructions for card tricks, stunts for the dinner table, and verbal puzzles that are guaranteed to make grand-parenting even more fun."