SH*T YOU NEED TO DO NOW (with your elder)

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Major credit goes to my website developer, Elizabeth, for her insatiable curiosity and willingness to deliver above and beyond on behalf of her clients’ topics. Of all the curated death sites out there, this one she found is DEFINITELY the easiest on the eyes, and their mission is born out of a very meaningful place. I have deep appreciation for, and recent experience with, the co-founder’s observation that our healthcare system requires patient families to be “extremely proactive advocates” AGAINST an onslaught of medical interventions. And I am impressed with their development of a Trusted Decision Maker Form in the face of Covid-19, not to mention their Planning Tool. Although the site promises — as with other well-meaning online resources, including my own — to overwhelm the novice elder caregiver with the breadth and depth of content, the clean home page categories give you a fighting chance to find what you’re looking for. To short-cut your experience, I culled some key content below for the Start-of-Sh*t. Between Atul, Ellen, and now Cake … I am feeling pretty darn Boston Proud!

Yours truly, Irreverent Rachel

cake: navigating mortality? we’ll be your guide (site)

“Welcome to the largest end-of-life platform on the internet. Join millions of people turning to Cake each month for guidance on death, grief, and mortality. Explore our thousands of articles and tools designed to help you learn about and prepare for end-of-life.”

forbes: this startup makes end-of-life planning a piece of cake (article)

“Cake, a digital health startup based out of Boston, is hoping to become the leader in the space of end-of-life planning and advance care decisions. Their online platform makes it easy for individuals to make these types of decisions and store them in a secure system. After signing up, users are taken through a streamlined process where they’re asked to answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to prompts like ‘I want my funeral to be a celebration of my life’ and ‘I have a living will or advance directive.’ Depending on each answer, the platform helps to identify what types of decisions and services each user should pursue. Choosing end-of-life preferences ahead of time can help prevent financial losses, unwanted medical interventions, and conflict between loved ones.”

 

 

ALL ABOUT THE STUFF OF LIFE

cake: what is a simple will? and how do you write one? (article)

“A simple will is a way that you can inform your family and friends of what you want to do with your property and make it legally binding. If anyone disagrees with what you said you want to have done with your property, it will not matter. Because you had a will, the court will issue an order to make sure that your property is distributed the way you want.”

 
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cake: what is a trust? (article)

“A trust is a legal instrument by which you transfer property to someone (called a “beneficiary”), but just not right away or all at once. If you give property to someone right away and all at once, that would be a completed gift and doesn't require a trust. In simple terms, a trust is something that allows you to set the terms on how and when a beneficiary will receive the property that you transfer.”

 

 cake: how to name beneficiaries to your estate - step-by-step (article)

“Naming beneficiaries to your estate may seem simple — just name your spouse or your children, right? Well, for some people, it’s that easy. But family relationships can be complex — they often involve multiple marriages, mixed families, children with special needs, disgruntled relatives, and more.”

 

cake: what is a durable financial power of attorney? (article)

“A financial power of attorney is simply a legal document in which you (the “principal”) authorize someone else (an “agent” or “attorney-in-fact”) to make financial decisions for you or to act for you in financial matters. A power of appointment can be effective immediately—even while you have full capacity to make your own financial decisions.”

 
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cake: 7 steps to protect your digital assets after death (article)

“Trivia question: What’s the key to everything we find valuable these days? Did you guess digital accounts? Think about it — digital assets, which are valuables that exist online rather than in tangible form — host online banking and investment platforms, photo-sharing sites, social media accounts, messaging applications, and more.”

 

 

ALL ABOUT END OF LIFE

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cake: advance directive forms by US state (tool)

“Advance directive forms — sometimes called ‘advance care planning forms’ — are documents you complete to express what medical care you do and don’t want to receive if you couldn’t speak for yourself. Each US state has different forms. If you move from one state to another you should consider completing forms for your new state of residence.”

 

 cake: what is a HIPAA release form? (article)

“A HIPAA release form is a document that allows you to record who you wish to have access to your health information in the event that you are not able to give consent. The form allows you to choose what medical information and records would be shared with the expressed individuals, including the date range and the type of records (such as mental health records and communicable diseases).”

 

cake: what is a healthcare proxy? (article)

“A health care proxy (HCP) is an advance directive document for you to designate someone you trust to make medical decisions for you in the event you can no longer speak for yourself. It leaves no doubt about who has the authority to make treatment decisions if you cannot do so for yourself, and ensures that someone you trust is making the choices you would make to direct your clinical team.”

 
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cake: what is a living will? (article)

“Living wills communicate your wishes about the kinds of medical care you would or would not want to receive, should you be unable to make those choices yourself. Not having a living will can cause confusion, guilt, and even conflict in your family.”

 

cake:  what are POLST forms? what’s their purpose? (article)

“Having a POLST form is like having your doctor sitting next to you 24 hours a day in case you have an emergency. POLST forms are medical order forms that seriously ill or frail people who are near the end of life use to receive the treatment they want. The forms contain actual medical orders that your primary care physician prescribes for you, just as they would in your medical chart at the hospital.”

 

cake: what’s a do not resuscitate (DNR) order? (article)

“A DNR/DNI or, do not resuscitate or do not intubate order, is a particular type of advance directive. This document, created alongside a medical professional, is intended for seriously ill or frail people who want to decline life-saving interventions like cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) or breathing machines or tubes if their condition requires such care to sustain life.” 

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Check out this genius solution! “‘Resuscitation is the only medical procedure routinely done without permission, so [a DNR] has to be accessible,’ said Florian who has one 93-year-old client who actually got a chest tattoo of ‘DNR/DNI’ to ensure medical personnel are aware of her wishes.”

Yours truly, Irreverent Rachel

 

 

ALL ABOUT THE "AFTER" LIFE

cake: everything you need to know about death certificates (article)

“When someone dies, the death must be registered with the local or state vital records office within a matter of days. The vital records office can then issue copies of the death certificate, which you will need to handle the decedent’s affairs or may wish to have for your personal records. Navigating the process of filing and obtaining copies of the death certificate can be overwhelming, so we have answered common questions below.”

cake: how long does the probate process usually take? (article)

“It is virtually impossible to pinpoint precisely how long the probate process will take to complete when dealing with people’s wills. Because the probate process is set by state law, every estate administered through probate court undergoes essentially the same process.”

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Ok, so, there is OBVIOUSLY a sh*t ton more info related to this moment, but since those of you at the Start-of-Sh*t are potentially freaking out about what’s to come … and not ready to face the mortality of your elder … and firmly embracing euphemisms … I’m just going to go easy on you and tell you to browse the End-of-Sh*t section when you’re ready for fun facts about what to do with them when they’re … “gone.”

Yours truly, Irreverent Rachel

I am crowd-sourcing reviews and resource recommendations from all of you!

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SH*T YOU NEED TO KNOW NOW (about your elder)

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