THE PET SECTION
When I listen to the stories of the pets my parents had as kids, and then when my sister and I were young, I can see the shift from expendable commodity to family member. To be clear, both my parents were /are animal lovers (see: racoons living in our ceiling, house mice allowed to graze the cookie drawer, and the annual event of my father taking me to pick corn for our spoiled backyard squirrels), but the infatuation with and investment in domesticated animals is definitely a modern phenomenon. As a result, all the same end-of-life stuff applies here as with humans, it just depends on the level to which you want to formally engage in the options. For our part, my husband and I have made a habit of sending our pets over the rainbow bridge at home, in one case donating a dog body to the local animal medical center, and in all cases cremating their remains. We have yet to conduct a formal event after each death which I think might be warranted, since we have five boxes of pet remains piled up in the basement.
Yours truly, Irreverent Rachel
END-OF-LIFE EVENTS
self: pet euthanasia at home (article)
“As told by someone who does it for a living.”
cake: 25+ best songs for a pet’s memorial or funeral (article)
“Wherever you are today in your journey, and if you are planning to hold a memorial or funeral—or just need some music to guide you through your grief, then take a look at the lists we have created for you below.”
WHAT TO DO WITH WHAT REMAINS
cake: pet cemeteries explained - how they work and where to find one (article)
“So, when a pet dies, that doesn’t necessarily mean that a backyard burial may suffice. For those who rent, don’t stay in one location their whole lives, a pet cemetery gives them a place to honor the life of their pet without worrying that a later owner of the house they used to live in will dig up the garden where Mr. Whiskers the tuxedo cat was buried years before. Also, in some places, it may be prohibited to bury a pet on your property.”
cake: how much should a pet cremation really cost? (article)
“As hard as it is to think about, knowing about pet cremation can help ensure you pay the right price, as well as receive the very best services.”
cake: pet caskets - types, cost, and cheap or DIY alternatives (article)
“Pet caskets differ slightly from human caskets in size, cost, material, and the ability to personalize. However, when it comes to choosing a casket or even creating one for your beloved pet, you’ll be able to find a cost-effective, beautiful, customized casket that serves as the perfect tribute.”
cake: 18 types of DIY personalized pet headstones or grave markers (article)
“Looking for the best headstone and grave marker for your pet can be tricky. Unless you purchase a spot in a pet cemetery, you may not want to buy a grave marker that is large or permanent. On the other hand, you don’t want to leave your pet’s grave unmarked. Here are some ways to mark the graves of your beloved pets.”
As I mentioned, we chose to donate one of our dog’s bodies to a local animal medical center to support veterinarian learning and practice, and per the article below, many veterinary colleges have programs to support the same. Here’s a twist: In Denmark, the Copenhagen Zoo created a frenzy of demand for donating dead horses to feed its meat-eating residents. (As a life-long equine-obsessed rider who almost found this out the hard way when peering into their hyena enclosure, I owe my husband a debt of gratitude for shouting, “Don’t look!!” If you’ve seen The Godfather, enough said.)
Yours truly, Irreverent Rachel
humane society veterinary medical association: educational memorial programs (article)
“Educational Memorial Programs (EMPs), also known as Willed Body Programs, offer veterinary colleges an alternate, ethical source of cadavers for teaching purposes, as well as provide owners with a special opportunity to support the training of future veterinarians with the donation of their deceased animal.”
MEMENTOS & MEMORIALS
cake: 13 stuffed animal pet memorial gift and keepsake ideas (article)
“Grieving an animal can be such solitary sadness. You might weep with memories of love and personal surrender to your two or four-legged confidante. You miss your conversations, intrigues, hunts, and midnight dances—and more than that, it’s the absence felt during morning cuddles or nighttime slumber.”
cake: 15 touching pet keepsakes and memento ideas (article)
“Pets are more than just companion animals. They truly become members of our family. When they die, we want to pay tribute to them the same way we would any other family member.”
cake: 12 pet memorial garden ideas for dogs, cats, and other pets (article)
“A pet isn’t just a cute companion. They can truly be a beloved family member. So, when you lose a pet, you might want to celebrate and honor their life, just like you would if you lost any other loved one. Consider doing so with a pet memorial garden. This spot will serve as a daily reminder of the happy times you and your pet spent together.”
SOUNDS OF SILENCE
pet chaplain: find a pet chaplain for pet loss support (resource)
“If you have lost a special pet or are facing the imminent loss of animals and need someone to talk with, an AVPE Registered Pet Chaplain® may be available. A pet chaplain is trained to offer interfaith, non-denominational spiritual support and prayers to people for animals. We understand that witnessing the death of non-human animals can be difficult, and our chaplains are trained to provide grief care that suits your unique emotional and spiritual needs.”
cake: what’s a pet grief counselor and how can they help? (article)
“Grief counselors with special training in pet loss and bereavement can help you overcome the different types of grief experienced after the death of a pet. They understand both the underlying causes of human grief and emotion when they’ve suffered human loss and the unique pain and suffering that comes from losing a pet.”
cake: 30 pet sympathy messages for dogs, cats, and other animals (article)
“Whatever your connection, pets help us feel a little less lonely. And when our animal friends pass, it can be just as hard as losing a sibling. Below is a list of messages you might use to help someone along who recently suffered the loss of a beloved pet. But before that, here are some things to think about when writing a pet sympathy card.”
WORDS OF WISDOM
two poems about what dogs think (probably) (TED talk)
“What must our dogs be thinking when they look at us? Poet Billy Collins imagines the inner lives of two very different companions. It’s a charming short talk, perfect for taking a break and dreaming …”
when a pet dies (book)
“In this useful book from the First Experience series, the affable star of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood helps children share feelings of the loss of a pet while offering reassurance that grieving is a natural, healing thing to do.”
wbur: the last walk - when man outlives his best friend (article)
“All dogs go to heaven, but what do we do with ourselves when they leave?’
npr: outliving our pets - a tribe to pilar (article)
“Mostly, though, our pets — not only cats, but also dogs, rabbits, birds, snakes and more — don't make the headlines. They live beside us day by day, accompanying us in ways that are unremarkable in terms of headline news, but nonetheless remarkable in terms of their enduring positive impact on our lives.”