Celebrating Eldercare Efforts
LABOR (n) work, especially hard physical work. (v) work hard, make great effort. (v) have difficulty in doing something despite working hard.
On Labor Day it seems appropriate to write about the efforts of eldercare, which unfortunately don’t receive the same honor and recognition (never mind monetary rewards) as the achievements celebrated on this holiday.
Lately I have been reminded by many adult-children-of-elders about the “difficultly in doing something despite working hard.” The something in this case pertains to those physical, mental, or emotional eldercare crossroads when staying-the-course is unsustainable, but what should change is both unclear and anything but easy.
In recent decades there has been a movement to “age in place,” and with the pandemic many families have chosen to keep elders at home rather than chance an uncertain outcome in an institution. But the cost to elders and working caregivers is high. In my latest podcast my friend Celeste talks about the benefits of her parents’ long term care insurance — while acknowledging the significant expenses it DOESN’T cover — AND describes the expense of her own “work,” and the impact on her career and family.
Whose decision is it (to move elders out of their home, choose a facility, put services in place)? That’s a question that comes up a lot when the elders have monetary means and full cognition. In my Grandma Cameo my mom and I review the decisions I drove for my own parents: how difficult they were to make in the moment and how effective they were in the end; how much of my own time it took and how much control I had because of their (lack of) plan and funds.
What worked for us: Talking together and trusting each other through every leap of faith.