WHEN YOU SH*T YOUR LIMIT
BURNOUT
the washington post: when an ailing parent needs more care, sibling conflicts can arise and add to stress (article)
“Everyone wants what is best for Mom. But when an aging parent receives a dire diagnosis, old scores, rivalries and pecking orders from childhood can come back to haunt.”
family caregiver alliance: taking care of you - self-care for family caregivers (article)
“On an airplane, an oxygen mask descends in front of you. What do you do? As we all know, the first rule is to put on your own oxygen mask before you assist anyone else. Only when we first help ourselves can we effectively help others. Caring for yourself is one of the most important—and one of the most often forgotten—things you can do as a caregiver. When your needs are taken care of, the person you care for will benefit, too.”
mayo clinic: caregiver stress - tips for taking care of yourself (article)
“As the population ages, more caregiving is being provided by people who aren't health care professionals. About 1 in 3 adults in the United States provides care to other adults as informal caregivers. A caregiver is anyone who provides help to another person in need, such as an ill spouse or partner, a disabled child, or an aging relative. However, family members who are actively caring for an older adult often don't self-identify as a ‘caregiver.’ Recognizing this role can help caregivers receive the support they need.”
webmd: recognizing caregiver burnout (article)
“Caregiver burnout is a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion. It may go along with a change in attitude — from positive and caring to negative and unconcerned. Burnout can happen when you don’t get the help you need, or if you try to do more than you’re able — either physically or financially. Caregivers who are ‘burned out’ may have fatigue, stress, anxiety, and depression. Many caregivers also feel guilty if they spend time on themselves rather than on their ill or elderly loved ones.”
singlecare: caregiver’s guide to self care and avoiding caregiver burnout (article)
A medically-reviewed guide that covers the stages and signs of burnout, risk factors facing caregivers, tips for avoiding burnout, and resources.
BODY
When I was in the Middle-of-Sh*t I once got massages twice in one week, to no effect. The second massage therapist said, “Your pain is not muscular!” and referred me to an acupuncturist. That was some of the best advice I ever received. Turns out when you’re always in fight-and-flight mode, your body has some pretty messed up Qi (Chi to us amateurs). And if you— like countless sandwich generation caregivers — are squeezed daily between work and family and eldercare obligations, you will look forward to the next needle prick if only to have 60 whole amazing minutes in a warm, comforting, soothing space all to your very self. Ten years later I still go to my acupuncturist, Claire McManus M.Ac. Lic.AC., who I consider not just an amazing body / mind healer, but also a very good — and hilarious! — friend. Where I used to cry immediately upon arrival, we now laugh our way through our time together. Go get yourself a Claire.
Yours truly, Irreverent Rachel
nccaom: national certification commission for acupuncture and oriental medicine (directory)
“This is a voluntary directory designed to be used by the public to assist individuals in finding an NCCAOM practitioner: Dipl. Ac. (NCCAOM)®, Dipl. C.H. (NCCAOM)®, Dipl. O.M. (NCCAOM)®, or Dipl. ABT (NCCAOM)®.”
amta: america massage therapy association (directory)
“Finding a professional massage therapist is vital to a positive massage experience. AMTA massage therapists have demonstrated a level of ability through education and/or testing, adhere to a code of ethics and must meet continuing education requirements.”
On the podcast:
MIND
When I am in the throes of the physical, emotional, and existential exhaustion of caregiver burnout I feel like I am swimming underwater. My temperamental sacrum and sciatica want me to move more often than I succumb to comfort food ... my wrinkled face is longing for laughter instead of furrowed brows and pursed lips … and my liver is begging for a break. It’s an added insult that elder events generally occur when the caregiver is middle-aged and already suffering the slings and arrows of general physical and mental decay, as well as hormone fluctuations that change the shape of the body to which you had finally reconciled yourself. But I’m here to tell you that if you DON’T make time for yourself in some small way, your suffering will be worse than it already is. My Little Helper came in the form of meditation apps. If you need to drown out the noise in your own head and knock yourself out when sleep is elusive, give them a try.
Yours truly, Irreverent Rachel
insight timer: 100,000 free guided meditations
“We believe everyone deserves access to a free daily meditation practice. Which is why we publish the world's largest collection of free guided meditations, with over 100,000 titles.”
garrison institute: care for caregivers — skills for resilience through meditation and mindful movement (app)
"Led by Sharon Salzberg and Gayla Marie Styles, this free app supports and affirms the resilience and ability of caregivers to thrive and recover from difficult situations, even in the face of acute and chronic stress. The Care for Caregivers app provides eight guided meditations that you can watch any time, anywhere, and at your own pace, each between 5-6 minutes long.”
daily caring: caregivers get speedy meditation benefits with 5 simple apps (article)
“Caregiving is a tough job and the stress can seriously affect your physical and mental health. An effective and simple way to combat this is to meditate. Rest assured, you don’t have to be a zen master before you benefit from meditation -- even a few minutes a day can make a big difference in well-being. We explain what meditation is and how it improves your health and mood. We also share 5 excellent (and free) appointments that make it easy and convenient to start meditating.”
If you’re looking for more formal practice and a source of community support, be sure to poke around the NY Zen Center site (a shout-out to my aforementioned acupuncturist for turning me on to this resource!). Even if all you do as a first step is allow yourself a few minutes to read the words and absorb the images, I assure you, you will feel calmer.
Yours truly, Irreverent Rachel
ny zen center: caregivers support groups (site)
“Whether you are: a professional caregiver, a family caregiver, a friend’s caregiver, or a volunteer caregiver … drop in and take care of yourself. View our event calendar to find the next monthly meetings of the Caregivers Support Groups.”
mindful breathing (necklace)
“Inspired by a conversation with a flute-maker who taught them about ancient Japanese monks and their breathing techniques, Todd and Vanessa Steinberg created a pendant that encourages slow, conscious breathing.”
worry stone (necklace)
“Maker Leesa Storfer found inspiration in the classic worry stone, a small token to hold between your finger and thumb that dates back to many Native American tribes as well as ancient Greece, Tibet, and Ireland.”